


Walls

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-01
Updated: 2003-05-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 06:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15113486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: "They all have walls they hide behind, to protect them from themselves as well as from the outside world."





	Walls

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Walls**  
**by:** Kasey

**Character(s):** Sam  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own them, never have, probably unfortunately never will.  
**Summary:** Assume minor through Season Three.  
**Summary:** "They all have walls they hide behind, to protect them from themselves as well as from the outside world." 

They all have walls they hide behind; They have to. In a business like politics, in which the weak are quickly killed off, in which you either live to fight another day or are dead in the water, such walls are a requisite. You have to have a wall protecting you from the outside world, or you'll be quickly broken. And besides - surrounded by walls, it's harder to fall down - you have something to hold onto. 

But just as each person is different and each literal wall is different, the walls built around each person are different; Made of differed things, for different reasons. 

Josh's wall is made of humour and sarcasm to hide the scared little boy behind it, a child terrified of death more than anyone except maybe Leo can know. Sometimes a little can penetrate - a fatherly word from Leo, a kiss from Amy - and he hopes someday the wall won't need to be so thick, that the little boy behind it won't be so scared anymore. Mandy never even tried to break down the wall - she was caught behind her own, made of snarkiness and caustic comebacks. 

Two people can never be close if each is surrounded by a wall. 

Toby's wall is built firmly, strong and thick, to shut out the world from a bruised heart and ego, and as soon as he thinks he's letting someone in, he shuts them out all the more. CJ can sometimes sneak behind the wall because she's known him since before the wall was completed, back before the death of his sister and the losing streak, before his failed marriage full of argument and resentments. Sometimes he honestly don't remember what's behind the wall, or if the wall still exists - for all he knows, he's become as hardened as he is on the outside, on the inside. But in the end he realizes he's not completely and totally cynical yet, but rather almost there. 

CJ's wall is taller than anyone else's - not only because she's taller than they are, but because she can't let her guard down, despite her instincts. She's a woman in a job that people think should belong to a man and she has to prove twice as hard to prove herself, so she can't be weak. Sometimes she overcompensates, being overly snippy or detached, prone to sarcasm at the wrong time, but it's better that than the alternative from a professional standpoint. In the end, though, her wall does come down more easily than some of the others, but she's careful to only let that happen when he's alone or with Toby, because he too has known her since before she needed such a tall and constant wall. 

Sam's wall isn't finished yet - it stands to the height of his chin, but no higher. He likes to think there doesn't need to be a wall, that he can keep his heart and mind in his work and come out on top. He doesn't believe that he needs to be trapped in and trap the rest of the world out, but with each passing event it grows a little higher. And from time to time he tries to jump over the wall and show he has nothing to hide, that he can show himself to the rest of the world...but in the end, he retreats back over the wall. And one day his wall will be as tall and as thick and as impenetrable as his boss's, but in the meantime he likes to believe that the world will be in such a shape that he won't need the wall at all. So he dreams of the day when that will come, and looks over the wall in earnest. 

Leo's wall has changed very much over the year. From the time he was young he built it thicker and thicker, trying to shut out the world. And when the wall was at its thickest, from his sweet euphoria of substances, he was so trapped inside that he couldn't move and was on the verge of suffocating. So he did as Jenny had begged, and when he returned home he took a bulldozer to that wall and hoped not to build another one, for fear of losing sight of his loved ones he had harmed. But, in the end, he built up enough of a wall at work to push away his wife of so many years, and now his wall grows thicker once more with the work he does to keep himself occupied, so he doesn't remember how solitary he is. 

Jed has a larger wall than any of them, because he must be more than a man; He must be a historical figure, someone the history books will look to for the answers. He can't be the economics professor who sits and wonders why his father didn't like him - he doesn't get to be personal for these four years, or maybe eight. 

But in building the largest wall, he also built the most accessible - it's large enough within the wall of Abbey, and the girls, and at times Leo or members of the staff, and then there can be brief reprieve from acting super-human, which no one will ever know about. 

They all have walls they hide behind, to protect them from themselves, as well as from the outside world. It's a necessity - they couldn't survive without them. 


End file.
